Friday, January 18, 2013

My husband is a crossdresser and I find it perverse inspite of trying to accept it?

Q. I found out about his cross dressing by chance. Inspite of reading up on it and doing a lot of online research, I am unable to come to terms with it.
I have not confronted him about it but I have hinted it couple of times. He knows that I know but is keeping mum.
I can't get this thing outta my head. I am very disturbed.
Can other wives in a similar situation tell me what they did?

A. To begin with: Just so you know who is talking, I am a crossdresser.

Your husband is probably very much in a keep it secret stage. Thus he is very reluctant to share with you let alone anyone else. You on the other hand need to have some questions answered. And you may not even be sure of what the questions are. This is where I hope I can help. Usually the questions are not so related to him but more as to how it affects you.

Question 1. Is he gay?
Answer: Most likely he is not. In fact 90 percent of crossdressers are just like your husband: married, straight men who just have a need to express a feminine side. Of course in today's society we often equate the crossdressing to equal homosexuality because of what we have been exposed to by media in the way of drag queens and those who are extremely campy. Crossdressing is a gender issue. Its a degree of how masculine vs feminine we feel. But it has very little to do with sexual preference.

Question 2. If you accept it are you gay? After all your husband enjoys dressing as a girl, so when you are with him, is it not like being with a girl?
Answer: No. As I have said to people when i am asked as similar question, what I wear is what i feel comfortable. But inside my panties... I am all man. I want to have heterosexual sex. and I only have interest in women... In your husband's case.. one woman: YOU. He is still a man, and he still has a penis and he wants to have sex with you in the usual way. He is no matter what he wears, still a man. You are not a lesbian.

Question 3. What will everyone else think? My friends, my family?
Answer: This is a subjective one. Some people will be horrified (mostly because they do not know enough about it, and only assume the worse). The majority of people you know, just won't care. and won't even think about it. Then there will be the few who are curious and interested and will want to know more. But before all that begs the question... how will these people find out? He certainly is not going to tell anyone... he can't even talk about it to you. You don't need to tell anyone? Its not like you go and tell your mother about everything you do in the bedroom? (I hope :) ). But for those that do find out, in general they won't say anything about it unless you are complaining about it. If you are supportive, and show that you and your husband are of one mind about this, they should just leave you alone.

Question 4. Why do you feel it is "perverse"?
Answer: Because it is hidden and is being kept hidden. When things are hidden like they are, you are going to feel like its something wrong and it needs to be hidden. your solution is to talk about it with your husband. You have to get it out in the open. Find out why he feels the need to crossdress and what it is that started him down this path. You both need more understanding and a LOT more communication. You might even be feeling a bit betrayed because he has been hiding this from you. And now you might be wondering what else he has been hiding from you. I'm pretty certain that this is it. it's a big deal especially to him. He is afraid that you will ridicule him and expose him. You have to remember that you are a partnership and that his secrets are yours and yours are his.

After all, here is a guy that you are already partners with, who would probably enjoy talking fashion with you, help paint each others nails, etc. Here is a guy that can appreciate what it means for a woman to get ready and pretty for her man. And between you both your intimate time can be augmented if you both accept the sensuousness that he will have as part of his feminine side. (Think of how soft and sensitive your skin is when its freshly shaved and lotioned.) Don't be afraid to set limitations too. For example: I don't ever dress when there are familiar children about.

And as an extra bonus, if he is wearing panties under his jeans all the time... just how likely is he going to want to take his pants off for any other woman. He will be a much more faithful husband this way. ;-)

Just so you know. I now have a girlfriend. She knows about my dressing and is an active participant. We do not hide it from each other or for that matter, anyone else. My family knows as does hers. There are no problems and we live happily and enjoy my feminine side as well as my masculine side.

And finally, may I suggest that you get and read a book called "My Husband Betty" by Helen Boyd.
Its an excellent book that describes a lot of what you are going through and how she dealt with it.

Hope this all helps.

k


I need pink and brown bedding for teens that are kinda cheap?
Q. my daughter is redoing her bedroom as a christmas present and found one very cute comforter that got terrible reviews so is now looking for another but is not having any luck. Preferably in stores but i will look at online.

A. See if you like any of these:
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1639f98&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474|59488&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=42&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6043547
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10890413
http://www.target.com/Xhilaration-Floral-Comforter-Set-Brown/dp/B001NHUOKK/qid=1247674177/ref=br_1_12/185-7700703-0023904?ie=UTF8&node=14122141&search-alias=&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=14122141&rank=salesrank&rh=&page=1
http://www.nextag.com/NO-JO-RED-CALLIOPE-574536041/prices-html
http://www.beyond-bedding.com/pink-brown-polka-dot-kids-childrens-girl-twin-size-kids-bedding-set.html?productid=pink-brown-polka-dot-kids-childrens-girl-twin-size-kids-bedding-set&channelid=NEXTA
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/185-7700703-0023904?asin=B001VIR5JY&AFID=Nextag_DF&LNM=More_Categories|Home_%20_Garden|B001VIR5JY&CPNG=home&ref=tgt_adv_XSN10001
http://www.beyond-bedding.com/animal-cheetah-pink-girl-full-queen-teen-bedding-set.html?productid=animal-cheetah-pink-girl-full-queen-teen-bedding-set&channelid=NEXTA
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1428c10&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474|59488&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=29&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551
http://www.johnlewis.com/230466330/Product.aspx?source=22564
I like the surf floral from Walmart best.


Beautiful bedroom ideas for 12 year old girls?
Q. No polka dots
I am 12 and like stuff that is in style not cute little flowers i am not 2 years old... stuff like peace or blue and black and stuff like that duhhhh

A. Just pick your bedding first then choose wall colors and accessories that tie in to it...

Here's your peace sign bedding...
http://www.pbteen.com/products/p3782/index.cfm?pkey=cguys%2Dduvet%2Dcovers

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=16282ad&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59488%7c60551&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=26&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=15574ac&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59488%7c60551&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=4&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=142924f&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59488%7c60551&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=14&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1632e74&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59488%7c60551&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=46&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551

This one is available in different sizes. You didn't say the size of your bed. At overstock just go to the top and chose your bed size before you browse..
http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Blue-Tie-dye-Queen-size-Bedding-Ensemble/3555505/product.html

This one does have flowers but I still think you may like it...
http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Haley-7-piece-Bedding-Ensemble/3065312/product.html

http://www.target.com/Home-Pixilated-Guitar-Comforter-Set/dp/B001LVXUPY/ref=sc_pgc_r_8_0_16309661/190-5344060-7299147?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1

http://www.target.com/Xhilaration-Bedding-Collection-Black-Scroll/dp/B000UBWHJQ/qid=1239914474/ref=br_1_6/190-5344060-7299147?ie=UTF8&node=369033011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

This one has flowers bit it's pretty cool...
http://www.target.com/Bacati-Valley-Flowers-Bedding-Collection/dp/B00119R74Q/qid=1239914852/ref=br_1_13/190-5344060-7299147?ie=UTF8&node=369033011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1

http://girlsthemebedrooms.com/retro/flower-power-decorating-ideas.html


Ideas for bedroom redecorating?
Q. I'm going to be redoing my bedroom soon, and I need some ideas. I'm a 13 year old girl, so hope that helps some!
I'm going to be redoing my bedroom soon, and I need some ideas. I'm a 13 year old girl, i love blue and brown and i LOVE music. so hope that helps some!

A. Start by choosing bedding that you like. Take a color from it or chose a coordinating color for the walls. If the bedding has a theme (like tropical) decorate with those types of accessories.I could do a better search if I knew what size bed you have. For instance if your bed is full or queen there are probably more options than if we are looking for just twin. Here are some sites where you can browse for bedding...
http://www.target.com/b/ref=in_se_pagelist/190-5344060-7299147?ie=UTF8&node=369033011&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=369033011&rank=pmrank&viewID=leaf&field-pricebin=&store=&rh=&page=1&fromBrowse=1

http://www.domestications.com/Dept/Bedding/10000/10800

http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X5.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&attrtype=&attrvalue=&FromBanners=Y&cmAMS_C=C8&cmAMS_T=X3&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/index.ognc?CategoryID=20270&PageID=87061385797929&kw=Kids%27%20Bedding

http://www.annaslinens.com/category/14/1/kids-teen-bedding.html

http://www.lakeside.com/catalog.asp?N=36+11&Ne=1

http://www.seventhavenue.com/Bed-and-Bath/Bedding/Quilts-and-Comforters/index.cat

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Comforter-Sets/2/subcat.html

http://www.beyond-bedding.com/teen-bedding.html

http://store.delias.com/browse.do;jsessionid=5B1A60DC20A2DAB5B25B72B46F71FB88.worker3?categoryKey=roomwares&topnavTrack=roomwares&incmpid=TopNavRoom

Threre is a turquoise and brown one on this site but it's not your typical blue and brown...
http://www.wakeupfrankie.com/Categories/Top+of+the+Bed/Duvets+Comforters/394/

These are blue and brown...
http://www.beddingsets.com/Lawrence-Home-Fashions-Breeze-Comforter-Series-LAW2547.html

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10802889

http://www.domestications.com/Products/Bed+in+a+Bag+reg+Sets/City+Circle+Bed+in+a+Bag+/10000/10108/F16208x/Nao/15/R/16208E

I really like this one....
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=59514&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=157cf08&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59483%7c59514&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=1&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59483|59514

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Plaza-Stripe-3-piece-Comforter-Set/3211314/product.html

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Sedona-4-piece-Comforter-Set/3487862/product.html

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_096C6272000B?vName=For+the+Home&cName=Bedding&sName=Comforters+%26+Sets

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_096CS129000B?vName=For+the+Home&cName=Bedding&sName=Comforters+%26+Sets

Love this one!...
http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Enchantment-4-piece-Full-size-Comforter-Set/3863043/product.html

This one's green and brown but it's pretty...
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=59514&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1404b92&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474%7c59483%7c59514&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=69&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59483|59514

http://www.seventhavenue.com/catalog/product_popup.jsp?productId=36588

I chose this one because you said you love music...
http://www.target.com/Home-Pixilated-Guitar-Comforter-Set/dp/B001LVXUPY/qid=1240261812/ref=br_1_1/190-5344060-7299147?ie=UTF8&node=643244011&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1





Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Title Post: My husband is a crossdresser and I find it perverse inspite of trying to accept it?
Rating: 94% based on 1258 ratings. 4,3 user reviews.
Author: Unknown

Thanks For Coming To My Blog

No comments:

Post a Comment