My writing? What are your comments?

bedroom set hamilton image

Cheyenne

HUSH by C.F. Elliott

A faint, whimsical voice echoed throughout the house. The sound of children laughing and skipping feet woke me in the wee hours of the morning.
âCome play with us, Lorelleâ¦come play with usâ¦â
My nightgown was plastered to my skin like Saran wrap. Ivan lay sleeping on the floor in an army sleeping bag, snoring softly. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and walked towards my door, careful not to wake Ivan.
âLorelleâ¦Lorelleâ¦Lorelle!â
I followed the young girlâs whispers down the hall and to Loretta and Josephineâs bedroom at the very end of the hall. The door was cracked an inch, leaking a sliver of dim light. As I pushed the door open with my fingertips, I held my breath. Hearing a woman humming a lullaby, I froze as I listened more intently. The woman sometimes mumbled the words to the song under her breath in a voice that was angelic.
A sudden gust of air from behind me blew open the door. The air dried the sweat on my back and neck. The pit of my stomach dropped as the door opened. I attempted to swallow the lump in my throat and let out a shuddering breath. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them to see the colorful afterimage of a woman with platinum blonde hair.
âHello, Lorelle,â the woman said as she perched on the windowsill with feline agility. Her smile was heartless as she giggled intensely. With a wave of her hand, she closed the door and hopped down from her roost. âDo you know who I am?â She waited for a moment and when I didnât answer, she went on. âIâm your worst nightmareâ¦the shadows, the dark, arachnids. Iâm your ghastliest fears.â She dissolved into a pile of spiders, crawling to me, only to collect again to form a human.
âWho are you?â I asked in a voice that sounded more like a shudder.
âLorelle, Lorelle.â The woman clucked her lips as she took a step forward, clasping my face between her hands. âYou honestly donât remember me?â She paused, an icy breeze blowing in behind her. âLavina Vadim.â
Her hands were cold as ice and slimy. She leaned in close â so close that I could feel her hot, clammy breath on my cheek. I leaned back, scrunching my face in disgust. Taking quick, shallow breaths, I heard a commotion downstairs.
âDemonsâ¦â I said under my breath.
âIf only it were that simple, poor, stupid Lorelle.â She smiled ruthlessly as dug her nails into my skin, drawing blood.
I could feel the hot, sticky streams running down my cheek and onto my stark-white nightgown. Lavinaâs eyes became glassy, focusing only on the red streaks. She released me slowly and relaxed, her canines appearing under her lips. Running her tongue over her lips, she let out a soft purr deep in her throat. Her eyes were ice-blue and her pupils were pin-point. Lavina brushed the hair from my face as her eyes rolled back in her head. Seemingly out of control, she stuck her tongue out and licked my face from my chin to my cheekbone.
Her saliva burned an icy pain in my cheek, almost singing in the skin. Lavina threw her head back and let out a howl, shaking my shoulders.
~*~
I shot up in bed, soaked with sweat and breathing heavily.
âLorelle, Lorelle, Lorelleâ¦â Ivan said as he shook my shoulders. âWake up!â His face was scrunched with worry, just inches from my face. When he saw that I was awake, his tense shoulders fell, relieved. âAre you alright?â
âWhat time is it?â I asked, closing my eyes again and rubbing my forehead.
âItâs two-thirty in the morning,â Ivan said as he glanced at wristwatch. âDid you have a nightmare?â
Nodding, I leaned back against my pillow and opened my eyes. âSorry. Did you I wake you?â I pursed my lips and arched an eyebrow as he shook his head no. âYou sure?â My voice was skeptical.

âI was already awake when you started to scream.â

2011 (c) copyright C.F. Elliott

ANY COPYING OF THIS IS A BREACH IN MY RIGHTS AS AN AUTHOR. ANY PLAGERISM IS PUNISHABLE.
Novel summary: Something sinister haunts the Pest House in Knightstown, Indiana. No one knows quite what it is or why it's here and no one has questioned its existence. Until, of course, Lorelle Knight moves to town after her father loses his job in Detroit. When Lorelle digs too deep, the occult swarms around her. Black Magic runs deep in her veins and all she has to stop it is an amateur witch and an ancient Grimoire.

Answer
Main character's name is Lorelle, which is pronounced the same as Laurell. I like your writing a lot, but consider changing the main characters name. I am sure this in coincidence, but in one of Laurell K. Hamilton's novels, a villian invades the dreams of her main character causing her to have nightmares, and the setting is very similar. I don't think you should worry about it, because it's unlikely anyone else will notice the similarities if the rest of the story is not about vampires, but the name of the character can't be the name of an author who's writing style is similar to yours or people will think something is up.

You captured the essence of her fear well, and it compels me to read on. Good work.

can you guys give me a list off all the ying yang twins songs please easy ten points?

Octavion

i have
Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
Ying Yang Twins, Trick Daddy - What's Happenin'
Ying Yang Twins - Naggin'
Ying Yang Twins - Salt Shaker
Ying Yang Twins - Say I Yi Yi
Ying Yang Twins-Whistle While You Twurk
Ying Yang Twins - Dangerous
Shake - Ying Yang Twins ft Pitbull
Ying Yang Twins - Drop
Yonnie feat. Ying Yang Twins - In Da Club
fatman scoop feat. ying yang twins - set it off
Ying Yang Twins Jigglin Remix!!!
Ying Yang Twins - 1st Booty On Duty
ying yang twins- a lil lower now
Ying Yang- Jack It Up
Ying Yang Twins - Friday
Ying Yang Twins - Keep On Coming (Full)
Ying Yang Twins - The Walk
Ying Yang Twins - Wham Boom Bam
Ying Yang Twins - Get It
Lil' Jon & The Eastside Boyz Feat. Ying Yang Twins - Get Low
please tell me the best answer will be the one who can give me all the songs

Answer
1st Booty on Duty 3:19
23 Hour Lockdown
23 Hr. Lock Down 4:37
A!
All Good Things (Intro)
Alley
Armageddon
ATL Eternally
Badd 3:45
Ballin` G`s
Bedroom Boom
Big Boy Liquor
Boom (Its On)
By Myself
Calling All Zones
Collard Greens 5:01
Crank It Up
Credits
Dangerous 4:20
Dedication & Upcoming Events (Skit) 2:19
Dispose of Broadz
Drop Like This 2001
Family 4:23
Friday 5:25
Fuck The Ying Yang Twins 4:56
Georgia Dome
Ghetto Classics
Grey Goose
Hahn
Halftime
Hard
Hard feat K.T.
Hoes
Huff Puff
Hunchin`
In This Thang Still
Intro 1:04
I`m Tired
Jack It up 3:53
Jigglin` 3:24
Keep on Coming 3:59
Leave 3:21
Live Again 4:15
Long Time 5:16
Me & My Brother
My Brother`s Keeper 5:24
Naggin Part II (The Answer)
Naggin Part II (The Answer) Performed by Ms Flawless and Tha Rhythum
Naggin`
O-Hoes 4:23
One Mo for The Road (Skit) 1:37
Open 3:34
Patron (Skit) :27
Playahatian
Pull My Hair
Put That Thang Down 3:31
Salk Shaker (Extended Remix)
Salt Shaker
Salt Shaker (Remix)
Salt Shaker feat Lil Jon & The East Side Boys
say a yi yi
Say I Yi Yi
Sex Therapy 101 (Skit) 1:13
Sex Therapy 102 (Skit) 1:01
Sex Therapy 103 (Skit) :58
Shake 4:01
Smoke Break (Skit) :20
Sound Off
Take It Slow 4:19
The Courthouse (Skit) :28
The Dope Game
The Nerve Calmer
The Walk 4:21
The Warm Up
Them Braves
Thug Walkin`
Tongue Bat
Twurkulator
U.S.A. 3:32
Wait
Wait (Remix)
Wait (the Whiaper Song) Explict Version
Whats 4.
Wait (The Whisper Song) 2:59
Wait (The Whisper Song) (Remix
Wait (The Whisper Song) (Remix) {clean}
What The Fuck!
What The Fuck! feat Bone Crusher & Killer Mike
Happnin
Whats Happnin! feat Trick Daddy
Whistle While You Twurk
Whistle While You Twurk [Collipark Mix]
Wiggle Then
Ying Yang in This Thang
Ying Yang Vs. Lil Jon & The Eastside Boyz
Halftime(Stand Up & Get Crunk) (featuring Homebwoi)
Slow Motion [Remix] (featuring Juvenile, Wyclef Jean, Skip, & Wacko)
Take Ya Clothes Off (featuring Bonecrusher)
Do It
In Da Club
Me & My Brother[Remix] (featuring Youngbloodz)
Get Crunk Shorty (Nick Cannon featuring Ying Yang Twins & Fatman Scoop)
What's Happenin
Mr. Collipark's
Wiggle Then Move
Ms. New Booty (Bubba Sparxxx featuring Ying Yang Twins & Mr. Collipark)
Git It (Bun B featuring Ying Yang Twins)
Get Yern(Da Muzicianz featuring D-Roc of the Ying Yang Twins)
The Pink
4 Oz. (featuring Three 6 Mafia)
Legendary Status
Bedroom Boom(featuring Avant)
Duts
Rollin
Ying Yanguage
Don't Trip
Swag
What Ying Yang Mean
Ochee
Go
3,6,9
Juaah
Look Back at It
How Dat **** Came Upon
Whoop ***"
Outside da Box
Cheech & Chong
Ying Meets the Yang
Wind
music from the Soul
Other ****
Ying Yang in This Thang
Whistle While You Twurk
Bring Yo Azz Outdoz
Ying Yang vs. Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz
Thug Walkin
The Warm Up
Dispose of Brawdz
The Dope Game
Whistle While You Twurk (E.A. Remix)
Back Up! (Move Away)
Shake That Azz Girl
Playahatian
Drop Like This 2001 (featuring Dirty)
Tongue Bath (featuring Methrone)
Twurkulator
Hell Raisers
Them Braves
What The ****(Feat. Bone Crusher & Killer Mike)
Calling All Zones
Hard (Feat. K.T.)
The Nerve Calmer
All Good Things
-Long Time(feat. Anthony Hamilton)
-Live Again(feat. Adam Levine)
-We At War
-The Courthouse
-Wait (The Whisper Song)
-Pull My Hair
-Bedroom Boom(feat. Avant)
-The Walk(feat. Da Muzicianz, Countrie Biggz, Homebwoi & B.G.)
-Put That Thang Jacki-O)Down(feat. Teedra Moses)
-Shake(feat. Pitbull)
-My Brother's Keeper(feat. Anwar)
-Dedication & Upcoming Event
-Take It Slow(featuring Los Vegaz)
-Patron
-Big Boy Liquor(featuring K.T. & Huggy)
-Water
-Leave
-One Mo for the Road
-Open
-In This Thang Still
-We Back (Intro)
-Ying Yang Forever
-Yall Ain't Ready (featuring C-Moe)
-Centipede(featuring Lil Jon)
-Top Model
-Put It on Me(featuring Korey B.)
-Pop da Trunk
-Mad (featuring Sydnee-Jane)
-I'm Still Hustlin (Intro)
-I'm Still Hustlin
-Girl Is a Hoe
-So Cold
-Do It
-Holla at a *****"
-Closet Freak
-Get a Lil Low
-Earthquake
- Wait (The Whisper Song)
- What's Happenin'
- Dangerous
- Drop
- In Da Club
- set it off
-Jigglin Remix!!!
- a lil lower now
- The Walk
- Wham Boom Bam
- Get It
- Get Low

Powered by Yahoo! Answers

Title Post: My writing? What are your comments?
Rating: 94% based on 1258 ratings. 4,3 user reviews.
Author: Unknown

Thanks For Coming To My Blog